Have you ever thought about the difference between confidence and egoism? We all want to appear confident from an internal as well as external point of view. However, we may be making decisions to satisfy our external layer of confidence including physical appearance and social group status. It’s also important for us to understand that to truly be confident from our inner selves, we must be willing to remove certain layers of egoism. Follow on below to figure out the difference between confidence and egoism in an effort to be more confidently content from the inside out:
What an ego-based perspective sounds like
If you are living from your ego, you are a king or queen at acting superior. In addition, you are more so single-minded than a truly confident person might be and this makes you arrogant. Arrogant characters are essentially closed off because they are hiding under a mask of insecurity. This might be why it is so easy for an arrogant person to be rude or make condescending remarks so quickly. These kinds of personalities can tear others down and even blame others when things don’t go their way, and in a twisted way it makes them feel temporarily better about themselves. An arrogant person with an ego thinks that they are essentially better than others.
How to know the difference between confidence and arrogance
Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate between a confident person and an arrogant (ego-centered) person. This is because both confident and arrogant people contain a strong belief of their abilities. There is a certain take-charge attitude that encompasses both types of people. However, confident people are more aware of their inner selves than arrogant people are. Perhaps this is why a truly confident person will not want to make disdainful remarks to someone while an arrogant personality ultimately has ulterior motives and utilizes remarks to try to get ahead. An egocentric person acts overly-confident (actually internally feeling less-than confident) and might appear too pushy; this creates a sense of weakness within themselves by them accepting the superior role. While confident people have a more optimistic perspective, an egocentric person will have many complaints and moreover, they are never willing to admit their faults or mistakes as they do not want to feel inferior and that is their greatest fear.
Confidence is self-esteem
Self esteem parallels confidence, as they are basically interchangeable. In essence, this is how you see your self-worth and self-respect. How much do you value yourself? Do you make sure others value you as well? All these questions pertain to true confidence. It is ultimately a “self” concept, where you envision your beliefs about your inner self radiating outwards for the world to see. A person with a high level of self esteem generally is aware of his or her full potential as a human being and lives life in a happy, positive way; this person is keenly selfless of the needs of others and can be of service to listen to people from a compassionate perspective. Once you know who you are as a person (i.e. the true definition of confidence), you are better prepared to deal with life from a calm and content perspective. This also means knowing and owning your weaknesses in front of others. Once you are fully able to deal with your weaknesses, you gain power. You then begin to appreciate yourself and others from a considerate and grateful perspective.
Your ego goes against confidence
You might think that ego and confidence are related. However, the ego is the complete opposite of self-esteem. Ego has a great way of disguising itself as your true essence of confidence. When we feel insecure or unsure of ourselves our ego starts to wind up. Essentially, our ego arises as a kind of self-defense mechanism which parallels a false concept of you and of your identity and self esteem. The ego loves playing games and is all about self indulgence. Your ego can go off on a tangent and behave in all sorts of self-destructive ways. The thing about the ego is that it acts like a little child. It doesn’t think; it just wants to be constantly validated for fear of being not included or left out of something. The ego says things like “I want this” or “I need that” and until it gets those things, it might feel worthless. This falsified concept of the self so easily leads down a road of depression because you begin to place happiness on materialistic items. It all boils down to insecurity of the self which lowers your confidence level and raises the ego-based perception (i.e. arrogance).
How to diminish the ego and increase confidence
Point blank, we all want to be confident. It makes us energized, happy, and fulfilled. So how can we begin to dis-associate from egotistical thinking/acting and transition to a more internally stimulated, confident way of being? Well, first begin to comprehend how you actually think and act on a daily basis when it comes to communication and self-expression. Try to redirect yourself on who you are without trying to please anyone. Be honest with yourself and start by asking yourself some personal questions. What do you truly like about yourself and what do you feel you are more sensitive about? Learn to accept the qualities of you. Since your ego only wants to hear strengths and automatically dismisses weaknesses, go there. Let go of the need to be “perfect”. It is totally okay to love all the parts of you. This is really what begins to strengthen you and build up confidence. Samuelthomasdavies.com adds that, “Arrogance is overcompensating for a known weakness; confidence is knowing your strengths but also knowing your weaknesses, that way you can improve them.”
The next time you are confused with your level of confidence, make a list of the qualities you contain (all of them!), so that you can better distinguish between confidence and arrogance to find a middle ground of honesty, kindness, and inner-power. Remember that you have what it takes to be a remarkably confident person without putting other people down in the process.